Country porch ramblins

Aphorisms, to me, are a southern, linguistic delight. I love the fact that I can take a statement like: "That's a problem,I told you so", and say it 3 different ways. I hope it's a Southern tradition that never dies. I'll break it down for you so you'll know what I mean.

That's a problem,I told you so.

Translation #1: When you lay down w/ dogs, you get up w/ fleas.
Translation #2: You made your bed, now you got to lie in it.
Translation #3: When you stick your head in a lions mouth, you have to work it out that much easier.

You see what I did there? I took one statement and said it 3 different ways. You're not gonna here something like that in Minnesota. Let me give you another example.

I told you to knock it off, now I'm gonna put a stop to it.

Translation #1: I've dipped my last dip of snuff.
Translation #2: That's too much sugar for a dime.
Translation #3: That took the rag off the bush.
Translation #4: You don't believe fat meat is greasy.

You can also describe someones behavior w/ an aphorism. For example:

He/she was shocked.

Translation #1: You could have bought him/her for a penny.
Translation #2: He/she looked like someone just walked over their grave.

Some of my favorite aphorisms are when a simple statement just doesn't convey what you truly mean. For example:

He's/she's a thief.

Translation: He'll/she'll steal the sugar out a cake.

That person looks real bad.

Translation #1: They look like they've been rode hard and put away wet.
Translation #2: They look like 10 miles of bad road.

That persons gon' have trouble ahead.

Translation: They've got a tough row to hoe.

Now let's see if you can translate these next aphorisms to simple statements & if you can, email me w/ your answers.

1. You can't make a silk purse, out of a sows ear.
2. That's fattenin' frogs for snakes.
3. To high to throw your hat up.
4. Every tub has to sit on its own bottom.
5. Can't hold water in a pale.
6. They look like they just stepped out of a band box.

I could go on & on w/ this post because of my love of aphorisms. While on one hand, southerners talk "fastly" w/ less syllables, when we have the time, we also like to convey our strong feelings about something.