My genes

Okay, so I got my crazy genes from the Wilson side & my mean genes from the Hughes side. I have to say that I do appreciate them, even though they get out of control sometimes. If it wasn't for my gene makeup, I'd be a sniveling coward. Those 2 sides are the reason I can stand up for myself. When I had a bad contractor that wasn't finishing his work, I got in his face and threatened his life. Needless to say, he finished the work. When Gary the crackhead tried to scare me, I showed him what scary really was. So I truly do owe both those genes a Thank you.

You haven't heard me say much about my Jeffrey genes. Jeffrey is my maiden name, the name my mother and my 2 aunts carry. The Jeffrey genes gave me my creative side. The love that I have for writing and music I got from those genes. I think my Jeffrey genes are constantly at war w/ the Wilson & the Hughes genes. "Leave that girl to us", I imagine them saying and for the moment they win. Then the Hughes' and Wilsons sneak up on them and get the best of them. Then the Hughes and Wilson genes get to fighting and the Jeffrey's are in the drivers seat again. I owe my Jeffrey genes a really big Thank you.

Evil Do'ers Beware (A Standing Ovation)

About a month ago, an elderly woman was car jacked by one of our dregs of society. This lady turned the tables on him and shot him. When I heard that I laughed till I cried.

About a week ago a guy busted into this man's house in an attempted home invasion, the man shot the intruder. That bought a smile to my face. It didn't make me laugh like the other one did, but I danced a little jig on the inside.

These 2 people deserve a standing ovation and when those 2 "no goodniks" get out of the hospital and jail, they probably won't try that mess with anybody else.

Grandpaw (Arthur Wilson)

Grandpaw (spelled the way it's pronounced) was really my Great Granfather but my mother and them called him Grandpaw so I called him Grandpaw. He was my Grandmother's daddy and he lived with my Aunt Clara, his sister. Grandpaw was ill in the head but he wasn't scary. He kept his room dark just like Uncle H.C. but I never feared him or the room. He was mad as a hatter and self medicated with alcohol, but he was funny. We would sit out on the porch together and talk and feed stray cats. I barely understood a word he said cause he mumbled all the time but the time we spent together is a fond memory. He would take me with him to pick up cans all over the neighborhood. He lived with his sister because of his health status. She called him "Brother" just like my little girl calls my little boy. She saw to to him cause he couldn't see to himself. That's a Southern tradition. If there's a mentally ill relative, they don't stay in the "booby hatch" unless they're dangerous. I believe he lived w/ my Grandmother for a time but I don't know how long that was because it was before my time. After he died, we were doing some spring cleaning in my Grandmother's house and we found a bottle of Beefeater Gin, Grandpaw had hidden. He wasn't supposed to be drinking. I kept that bottle of Gin and now one of my Aunts has it.

The Hughes side

When I was a little girl, I loved to go over to my Aunt Maggie's house. She was like a Grandmother to me. But in the front room of her house lived her crazy nephew, my Uncle H.C. As a child I didn't know what was wrong with H.C., I just knew I was scared of him and his room. He didn't always live there, he was in and out of jail and when he was out, he cooled his heels at Aunt Maggie's house. He was tall,dark skinned, had a receding hairline and was bedeviled. Now as an adult I know he was always "chasing the dragon". I don't know what his personality was like before Heroine but by the time I came along, he had been in the service and like so many men that go to war and come back home, they're never the same. Back then they didn't have a name for what was wrong with him it's now known as PTSD. He self medicated w/ heroine. Never the less, as a child he was very scary. High as a kite and his body swayed from side to side. His room was dark, even in the daytime. When I went passed his room (and you had to go passed his room to get to the back of the house) it was like a siren went off in my mind to hurry passed there. The rest of the house was inviting an fun but I never liked that room, even when he wasn't there.

The Colonel

In a previous post I have said that I think The Colonel may be my dead uncle Lavon. I've had members of my family agree that it's true and crack up laughing. For those of you who didn't know my uncle Lavon, I'll explain. The Colonel is very tall and walks all stooped over, so did Uncle Lavon. The Colonel is a little slow on the uptake, so was Uncle Lavon. The Colonel will drink a gallon of water at one time, so did Uncle Lavon. He had that illness where he had an addiction to water. The Colonel seems frequently depressed to the point where Abbey will ask what's wrong with Colonel. Abbey didn't know Lavon but if she did, she would ask me what's wrong with Uncle Lavon? My response would be Uncle Lavon's not well child. Sometimes I look into The Colonel's eyes and I see something passed familiarity. It's like he's been here before and he's tired.

I've been away

It's been a while since I've had a new posting. Because of our financial circumstances, I've only been taking half of my anti-depressants. I break the pills down the middle and that way I can stretch them for 2 months. Half is better than none at all. Even still, sometimes my mind gets cloudy and I have to fight to form a clear thought. I've been fighting off some really vicious writers block. The whole and honest truth is; I'm exactly one missed prescription away from being one of those people walking around with a wool coat on in the summertime and mumbling to themselves. The last few weeks the highlight of my day has been about 8:30 pm, when I can take a hand full of sleeping pills with a Xanax XR back and wait for the sweet relief of drowsiness to envelope me. When I get cloudy, it feels like being held underwater and now I'm finally able to come up for air. My mind starts to clear up and not feel as foggy and I don't have to take my Xanax XR. I still have to take the sleeping pills cause I'm a hopeless insomniac and always take my anti-depressants because, well me not taking that wouldn't be good at all. I also take my regular 1 mg Xanax. The fact that the doctor prescribed me 1 whole mg says a lot. 40% of the time I have to take half of one of those to leave the house. I have anxiety attacks. I want to say a really sarcastic Thanks to my Wilson genes. Hughes', don't feel left out, I wanna kick a shout out to y'all too for giving the me the violent impulses I have to fight off so regularly. I'm back y'all!!

Somebody please, make it stop!!

I want to know how long it's gonna take for the Reality TV shows to go away? Who can make them stop? How can I make them STOP?!! I want them to go away they're ruining TV. Why are people still watching these shows?! I'm tired...I'm so so tired. Fox has a great new show on called Drive and I watched the first 2 episodes. The show is really good but I don't want to get to used to it because Fox will take it off and put on some reality show like: Who Gets the Perfect Dog or something.