Minding My Business

When Brian and I moved to where we live now, we were expecting it to be a big change. It was, only in a different way. Crackheads won't call the police on you if you park your car in front of your house. Crackheads won't complain to the city about your dogs barking. The only thing we had to worry about in the other house was; if we got out of our car after dark, would we be hit up side the head and get mugged. I almost prefer that over vindictive, passive aggressive, "throw a rock and hide your hand " type of people. My neighbor (the ones with the children named Mary and Joseph) came to my door this morning. "The lady who must not be named", said Ling Ling scratched her and she wanted to know if she's had her rabies shot. My 1st thought was: if you wouldn't have been messing with her, she wouldn't have scratched you. It turns out though, that she was messing with Ling Ling for a reason. "The lady who must not be named", has a screened in porch, and part of one of the screens is torn. Ling Ling jumped through the torn part of the screen and into their house. "The lady who must not be named", got scratched because she was trying to get her out of the house. Now this lady has 2 cats so she should know how to get a cat out of her house without getting scratched. #1. You pick a cat up by the scruff of the neck. #2. You shoo them out with a broom. Brian told "The lady who must not be named" that Ling Ling had her rabies shot when she was a kitten and that she had just now turned a year old and "the lady", said okay well rabies shots are good for like 5 years. That was the end of the conversation but for some reason, I don't think that's the end of the story. I swear if "The lady" gives me any trouble behind this (calling the city or the neighborhood group, etc.) I'm gonna grab one of her cats under the cover of night, break its neck and dash it over the back fence for her weird little kids to find. I'm sorry y'all the "Other Jaime" took control of my body for a moment. What I, the "Normal Jaime" would do is: go over to her house and ask her if she has insurance because Ling Ling suffered a really bad cut jumping through her screen.